


Worthy

by spaceorphan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Humor, Trapped In Elevator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 05:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18653668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceorphan/pseuds/spaceorphan
Summary: Steve, Tony, and Thor are stuck in an elevator.  That's it!





	Worthy

 

“...And that’s where we’re at, Cap!”

“Thanks, Sharon!” Steve Rogers said to the picture on his phone.  “Let me know if anything new develops.” 

“No problem!” Sharon replied.  “I’ll let you know - and hey, maybe some time we can discuss it over drinks.”  

She gave him a wink as he pushed the red button on the phone.  

“Well, that was cute.”  Tony Stark said from behind him.  Hard to say how long he had been standing there.  “Look at you getting a date.” 

Steve pursed his lips.  “It’s just professional.”  

“Yes, because discussion over drinks is always professional.”  

Steve kept his head low as he and Tony headed for the elevator.  “It’s complicated.” 

Tony grinned.  “All women are complicated.  Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them.”  

“That’s… definitely not what I meant.”  

“Then what’s stopping you?” Tony asked. “She’s not pretty enough? Too blonde?  Afraid she’ll steal your shield and use it better than you? I mean, she has been a part of SHIELD longer than you’ve probably had one so… do you think the years you’ve been under ice count? You had the shield with you but technically didn’t use it, so…” 

God, why did Tony always poke, Steve wondered as he pushed the button to go up.  Why couldn’t Steve just ignore him. “She’s…related to someone I used to know.”

“Oh my god, you fucked her grandmother.” 

“I did… not… do anything with anyone’s grandmother!” Steve’s face went crimson.  “And it was her aunt. And we didn’t actually… do anything.” 

“Oh, well then, all the more reason to go for it,” Tony insisted with that obnoxious grin he so often gave.

“What?” 

“Aunt’s are fine.  Grandmothers - probably weird.  But aunts? Fair game I think.” 

“Tony…” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.  

Thankfully, the elevator opened. 

Thor was already inside, admiring his hammer when Steve and Tony joined him.  

“How is everyone this fine day?” Thor asked.  “Who is ready for another splendid meeting of the universe’s greatest minds here at Avengers’ Tower?”  

“Oh, someone’s perky today!” Tony said, delighted.  He punched the button to the top floor. 

Steve just let out a grunt.  

“What’s with him?” Thor asked. 

“He’s conflicted because he fooled around with the aunt of the girl he wants to bone.” 

“Tony!” 

“What?” Tony said, not seeming remotely sorry for bringing it up.  “That is the situation as it stands, right?” 

“Oh, yes, yes, that is quite the dilemma,” Thor said. He put down his hammer so to stroke his jaw. “It reminds me of this one time my brother, Loki, brought home a woman who was actually an Ogre in disguise and, this is funny, she…” 

There was a loud screeching sound as the elevator came to a sudden halt.  

Steve, Thor, and Tony braced themselves, waiting for some kind of an attack or alarm.  But all just became quiet. 

“Friday, what’s going on?” Tony asked his AI.  

“It seems as though the elevator has stopped between floors,” Friday responded.  

“Obviously, why?” 

“Something is holding it in place, sir.”  

“What is it?” Tony asked, as he began to use his suit technology to scan the elevator.

“I cannot say, scans are not showing anything obvious.”  

“Anthony, it appears that your unit is malfunctioning and has broken,” Thor observed.  

“Clearly.” Tony began to do a scan himself.  

Thor patted him on the shoulder.  “Do not be ashamed that you cannot get it up.” 

Steve couldn’t contain a snort.  “Oh, Tony - your elevator is broken and you can’t get it up!” 

Tony gave him a glare.  “Really?” 

“What?” Steve pretended to look innocent.  “Sometimes men and their equipment just have performance issues, Tony.  It’s a known fact.” 

“You know what?” Tony said.  “This elevator has never had performance issues.”

“Sure it hasn’t.”  

Thor laughed nervously.  “Guys, I’m sure we can get this elevator up and running again…” 

“I’m sorry, excuse me?” Tony said, ignoring Thor and shooting Steve a hard look. “I don’t think a hundred-year-old man who probably hasn’t ever had the chance to have an elevator ride should be throwing insults and what could only be called a state-of-the-art, high performing elevator.”

Steve shook his head.  “Hard to be impressed by something that, clearly, doesn’t work.”  

“Oh, it works,” Tony shot back.  “And at least I can get plenty of women to ride my elevator.  And I’m not actually afraid of asking a woman to ride it.” 

“God, Tony…” Steve said.  “At least my elevator is clean, and probably not diseased from all the filth that goes on in them.”

“Hey! My elevators have always been clean,” Tony said.  “And you know, for what it’s worth, Pepper has never complained.”  

“Why would Pepper complain about the elevator?” Thor asked, genuinely confused.  “Has it stopped on her before.” 

“No, no it hasn’t!” Tony snapped.  

“Probably a short ride, though,” Steve muttered.  

“At least it gets the job done,” Tony said.  “If you even had an elevator, it probably couldn’t get off the first floor.” 

“Oh please,” Steve said.  “Your elevator is all show and no substance.  It’s screaming - look how pretty I am so to distract that it’s a jerky, ten-second ride.”  

“You wanna see what this elevator can do?” Tony suited up.  “I’ll show you what it can do.” 

Steve raised his shield.  “Bring it.” 

“Whoa, guys, whoa,” Thor said.  He lifted his hammer to put it between them.  “I did not realize how passionate Midgardians were about elevators, but no elevator is worth fighting over.”  

Before anyone could do anything, Friday’s voice sounded.  “Sir, it appears the force holding the elevator is gone - and we are again moving.”  

“Huh,” Thor said.  Banging his hammer against his hand.  

Both Steve and Tony looked at each other, then at Thor.  Mjolnir. Of course. 

“Well,” Steve said, bouncing on his feet.  “Looks like your elevator isn’t worthy.” 

“Like yours would be.”  

Thor stared at Mjolnir.  “Ah, Anthony, I have made your elevator go up once again.”  

Steve snickered.  Tony gave him a glare.  

“You don’t we don’t have elevators on Asgard,” Thor said.  “If we did - they would be impressive, wonderful elevators, laced in gold and silver, and soft as velvet to the touch.  It would be the most exhilarating ride for any being in the universe to experience. When I return home, I shall ask my father, Odin, to install this grandest elevator in the universe, and when it is finished, I will invite you both to see my most majestic elevator.”  

Steve and Tony stared at Thor only a moment before they burst out laughing.  

“Ah, Midgardians,” Thor said, forcing a laugh.  

The elevator dinged, and as they got off, Tony threw an arm around Steve’s shoulders.  “Okay, here’s what I’m thinking. I have a place in the country, two floors, mini-elevator there, and you can take the girl, and her aunt there and see what happens.  Is her aunt even alive still?” 

“Oh, god, Tony, no…” 


End file.
